Kobolds Ate My Baby at Brewfest

As you may recall I attended a small gaming convention called Brewfest which took place at a brewery on the Mississippi River on a lovely October day. The gaming was in full swing when we arrived and most people were enjoying either Pathfinder games or Warhammer. It was so cool!

Despite the name, Brewfest, seemed to mostly involve drinking brews like iced tea and soda. Mr. Geek and I did have some alcohol, but I also ended up mostly drinking my favorite version of tea, unsweetened with lots of lemon. For a small fee you could get a collector cup and drink all the non-alcoholic beverages that your gaming heart desired.

And what did our gaming consist of, you may ask. Well, we played Kobolds Ate my Baby! This is a very, very seriously light-hearted game. You play a kobold, which is a little furry beast in this game. You serve King Torg (ALL HAIL KING TORG!) and must venture out of your cave to do something related to gathering food, especially babies!

Yum! And see the baby wants to be eaten....

Kobolds do not understand human language, but as a skill can take "Speak Human" and gain the understanding of a whole SEVEN words. Your character has points in Brawn, Ego, Extraneous, and Refelxes, aka the BEER system. Very apt for the setting that day.


We had so many players that we had two GM's. Both did a really excellent job and made the game insanely fun. Our goal was to collect ingredients and then throw them into the volcano, but these ingredients included the dead body of King Torg because our side was allied to the Queen.

Queen Grot's Volcano Delight

• 1 volcano pepper
• 1 chicken alive or dead
• 1 zombie baby
• cheese
• the carcass of King Torg

To play the game you really have to be ready to be silly. You could be called upon to bark like a Kobold and upon death give a speech about your deceased Kobold. Player death is pretty common since you are basically a very stupid creature. Oh, we also at one point were put under a spell in which both sides of the table had to switch character sheets and play that character for a moment.

Somehow my stupid Kobold managed to survive most of the game and make it from our battlemap to the next table's where King Torg lived. Along the way I ran into a naked elf, ate a bunch of leather coats that were hanging up in a place I broke into and bored a hole with a spoon through a man's head... Finally, the Kobold Blehhh made it to King Torg, wrassled him (the game's term for grapple), but was tragically killed along with the King by one of his minions!

Whew. It was a real delight and we really enjoyed the company of the other gamers.